dear blog,
sorry that i have abandon you again…
it feels like i have not written anything for so long
but when i checked i noticed that it is only have been a day
why does it feels like it has been ages?
like the feeling of missing someone you really love
a day feels like a month…oh…,i’m thinking too much again…haha…
maybe it’s because i have so many things that i want to remember
or maybe i have fallen in love with my dear blog…i love you my blog…muack…
haha…sot plug again…yeah,that’s me…blek!
yesterday i did something really foolish
i have the urge to msn him and i did
surprisingly, he replied me
i wrote really stupid stuff and didn’t expect he will reply me at all
but he did and we chatted for a while
our first conversation in a long long time
so happy and grateful but at the same time sad as i found out some stuff
the feeling of very tight chest till i can’t breath again
lucky thing went out with friends at night
all the craziness makes me feel better
yeah…i feel better after acting weirdly, screaming and talking nonsense and doing crazy acts
i’m grateful to have friends like these…thx guys…love you all^^
i want to remember this
cause it is really crazy and i really happy that i did it
i watched finish “the notebook” and was getting ready to have my nap
but at the same time my head was thinking and suddenly i had the urge to msn him
i was thinking of what the person said in the movie
about doing what you really want without thinking what others want
so i msn him and just said i felt like saying
"i love you
i still love you
i dun know why i said this
i just feel like saying it
blek!
nitez"
yup…i said all that…i know it’s crazy…
but who cares…haha…
found out that his mom settle all my things already
the stars,wallet, rings and all
was so sad when i heard that
was thinking of go asking it back from her
but then i’m having second thoughts now
some people really just don’t appreciate don’t they?
when you’re important they promise you the world
but when it’s all gone they just throw you in the tong sampah
a sad fact and reality…haha…
so i decided to let it be…for now at least…
even if i go ask also the chances are she dump all the stuff ady
but she promised me before to give it back to me
but from what i see i don’t think she is a lady that would keep her promise
so just go to hell with it la(AAR songs are really taking me over…i’m a bit violent now…haha…)
what am i talking?i miss him so much…
“i miss you so much…wuwu~~ignore that”
the second crazy thing i said to him
and yes of course he ignored it
feeling a little down now
he is reluctant to see me
even got a little warning from him
he is like trying to avoid seeing me for the rest of his life
apa yang he so takut about anyway?
i faced my fears and you should too
you penakut…come on and be a man!!
my next boyfriend must be a man…wakaka…dreaming again
really miss the feeling of being madly in love and having the person madly in love with me
think i watched too much movie ady…haiz…
got the feeling that it is really over
you were so cold yesterday…i felt like you have no feel anymore
but somehow i still have a little hope…haha…
at the same time it doesn’t hurt that much anymore
maybe because i have been in hyper mode for a few days ady and i went out to play
or maybe i’m slowly letting it go
anyhow i will just let it be
your stuff is still lying around in my kl room
sometimes i still hug the teddy bear you gave me
it’s from famous amous, i’ll always remember that
a surprise gift from you…was so happy that day…
i’ll keep the things lying around till i find my next love
i think la…or maybe i’ll clean it up and put it in the nice box i prepared when i’m back in kl
see how i sayang you,still prepare a nice box lagi…hehe…
i think i get influenced easily
by movies, songs, stories and what people says
every movie i watch every song i listen will make me think will make me feel and act differently
sometimes i will even contradict myself
sometimes i just do what i feel like doing
it feels better to just do something i want without thinking too much
not to think about the consequences
but life is not that simple and easy
and crazy things can only be done once in a while
there are consequences that might not hurt myself but might hurt others
i need to consider all that in
i love the crazy part of me
i hope it will not disappear as i gets older
i want to always be me…
hope i can still be the original me…
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