Ai's Diary

when i am happy, i am really happy

when i am down, i am really down

 

the past few days have been a bit on the down side

except for Saturday because of the presents of good friends and food

 

get agitated easily

me no likey it

=(

 

i guess that when we are down we tend to pay more attention to the negatives things in life

or maybe that theory applies not to everyone but me only

i am trying though to keep my spirits up

=)

 

Happy Thing No 1

pretty flower shoes manage to be with me for a year

thank you for being with me almost everywhere

 

pretty flower shoes a year ago

 

pretty flower shoes today

 

dear pretty flower shoes

although i am going to send you away

please remember that i do love you a lot

♥

 

Happy Thing No 2

doodling in class

does it look like liya?

i simply draw only

 

Happy Thing No 3

feel like baking this

 

http://happyhomebaking.blogspot.com/2007/06/milo-double-chocolate-chip-muffins.html 

it has been awhile since i last bake

busy is the excuse i always use

no more excuse.it is decided

i shall baked this Wednesday

=)

 

Happy Thing No 4

ate fish shape chocolate

 

fishy!

trip to Tioman was canceled

but had 2 nice weekends instead

last week was family time to Fraser Hill

this week was friends time to Bagan Lalang beach

parents were random.friends were random

what more could i ask for

i love it

 

random pitt stop at selangor water dam

 

teaching mom to camwhore :D

 

cold mountain wind in face effect xD

 

photo session at The Gap while waiting

 

 

  treat the whole family ice cream

cold cold but syiok

 

jeriau waterfall

thank god there’s a self timer function in camera

we look so happy here

i wish it is always like this

 

kesian me no ppl help me take picture

resort to camwhoring

 

sunset at bagan lalang

 

my honey =)

 

my twin sister from another parents :D

 

my sistas <3

 

our jumping picha

*likes*

 

there’s no need for a caption

just like it =)

 

relaxing time is over

assignments and test is attacking again

need to work again as well

i am looking forward for time like this again

want to have more of it before my besties fly off to the states

*sad*

Name callings and teasing is something that has been part of my life for a very long time. All my life I have been called for so many types of name. “the kampung girl” cause I came from a rubber estate, “kuat harimao” cause my name has a “guat” and it somehow ended up that way, “laohuma” means means tiger cause I was very fierce in primary school, “roti kok” cause my sir name is “koh” which sounded alike, “pokok” which was given by my college friends cause i was blur, “alarm clock” cause i am always noisy in the car when thian hoe is driving etc. But somehow i got used to all of these. Because it is the way of life here in Malaysia.

 

It’s a cultural, if i may put it that way though there is no evidence from journals or research that i can cite to back up my view. We love to teach each other, about anything and everything. You are skinny you get teased, you are fat you get teased, you are smart you get teased, you are stupid you get teased. You like a certain boy or girl you get teased. And recently that added to the collection after miss lim class, the color of the shirt you wear also get teased.You are indian you get teased you are black.You are Chinese you get teased you have small eyes. The list goes on and on and on. We do racial jokes, we tease each other names, we make fun of what you wear. It’s normal for us.

 

Early this semester in speech communication class, Miss Lim said something like these, ‘people who has more friends are less prone to sickness’, and we go yeah right. But it is actually based on a research done. The logic behind it? If you have more friends and hang out more often, you get teased and make fun of very often that you are like immune to it. If you have less friends and go out less, you are not used to all these teasing and stuff, so when someone says something bad about you’ll get all defensive and some sort of hormone is released or some hormones don’t get released or something like that la, as long as it has something to do with hormones la, so you get sick easily.

 

My point is this culture is part of the Malaysian society. If you tell me that you never teased someone else’s name or giving them stupid nicknames or make fun of their race or anything else, i would not believe you and i would say that you are a hypocrite. However, no matter how much we are used to it or love this culture, it is not necessarily acceptable for some people. Which in my case, my boyfriend and his family, which is angry at me and others who teased his english name. I must agree that although we may not be agreeable with them, at least we should respect them. If they do not like it and has mentioned it, then we should stop. Although the problems have been settled, I still want to extend my apologies to my dear boyfriend and his family for my actions, and behalf on everyone else who offended their feelings, i apologize as well.

 

The purpose of writing this long post in which some of you might be cursing me now for it is not to offend anyone, but just to express a thought of mine, that might be agreeable to some and not to others. Either way, if any words has offend anyone, i do apologize. Plus i hope i won’t get into any trouble with this, as the image of the good girlfriend in my boyfriend parents’s mind has been ruin and i do not know where it is heading towards after this though i try not to think it as a big issue.

 

Conclusion. It’s okay to tease and make fun of people, but if they don’t like it, then stop it and sorry to boyfriend and his parents on my behalf and everyone else.

because

she would make me at least drink something for breakfast

 

because

when i come back from school there’s always food on the table

 

because

her cooking is always so good no matter what she cooks

 

because

when i come home and called out she would reply me

 

because

before she went back home

she left a packet of junk food in my room just for me

cause she knows i ‘kiam siap’ and refuse to spend money on those

 

i’m touched

thank you mommy

*hugs*

nothing beats having the best ramlee burger in town

plus the oh so soothing ice cold A&W

in the comfort of my own room

ou la la la~~

 

been working 2 days in a row for now

tomorrow will be the 3rd and last day for this week

work is very very very tiring but rewarding =)

yeah i get paid is. that’s one thing

but other than that

the happy face that i have to put on to serve customers

plus the ever friendly staff and managers

made me happy, lifted my spirit a little

 

there’s a saying that goes

if you are sad, force a smile on the face

then the feeling will come naturally

it’s true in a way

 

things are getting better

it’s good and i hope it will continue to improve

 

i can’t wait for my long awaited escape

tioman island from sunday to wednesday

oh i can feel the sun on my skin and the cool sea water

and the peacefulness of the off season resort

the best part is i get to skip college a few days

muahahahaha

 

oh tioman island i awaits to be reunited with you

(sounded so wrong lol)

light up my life oh pretty lights

for you’re all i have now

if that special someone really loves you

he won’t mind going that extra mile

if fact he won’t mind going an extra one thousand miles

just to see that smile on your face

 

my valentines day sucks

after all

i am just a cow who does not want to eat the grass

 

happy valentines day

to everyone

once upon a time

when the world seems so much simpler

when it was so much relax and happier

when we were innocent spm fresh grads

fire up and excited for being in college

that was 3 years ago

when we were just freshmen

now we are going to be the SENIORS

we all changed so much

 

when 3 foolish girl would plan for an outing

but never plan how to get back

and got stranded in the shopping mall till late at night

walking around with helium balloons

i miss those crazy days

 

when we play ‘pretend’ and gave each other awards

on the reward ceremony day itself xD

 

  when we embark on a creative idea project

to add a little spice into our boring college life

 

when we stayed up all night till we could hear the morning prayers

'training' or dreaming to be rock stars

 

when i decided to take a subject alone

teaming up with new found friends

a fresh start which was fun and rewarding

 

when x’mas was spent taking silly pictures with sister

which we haven been doing for a long time

 

when i was still on the Dean’s List with the girls

it seems so much harder now

plus i lake the motivation to do so

 

when we shouted and jumped at the AAR concert under drizzling rain

and had the best NASI GORENG SIAM ever for supper

when santai was still there and kamal was still here

 

when there’s still a little kid in me

that would play with my food

when ketchup could make me smile

 

when we would all go out during holidays

stuff ourselves with good food and company

and eating huge amount of baskin robins

 

being very nostalgic today

going though old photos that brings back memories

oh well break’s over

back to history

i love lights

 

out of 100 pictures that i snap

only a few that is worth showing

 

this picture is without any editing

beauty in it’s natural state

=)

'you’re a real star and you need to shine'

it’s true for Rachel

but Finn you SUCKS

why you can forgive Quinn but not Rachel

Quinn made a bigger mistake than Rachel

argh…stupid GLEE episode

 

I don’t like the way Serena is treating Dan

Dan deserves so much better than this

and why is he so holy-ish and good

 

I like the garden in Coraline

i want a pretty garden too

 

I love waking up and whatsapp-ing in my bed

going crazy with the person i ♥

 

it’s a saturday

SS15 pork noodle store’s siu yuk here i come

  no college no work

just stayed home and laze

i am a satisfied girl today

 

plus i miss this person very much

 

pass out at 3

wake up at 10

go out to eat

then do it again

man i love college

 

a random song that is playing in my head right now xD

though it reminds me more of ezen cause she sleeps at 3 more than me

or maybe more of ck la cause he barely showed up in class

 

anyways yesterday was filled with surprises and excitement

 

i was SO ready to be blasted by miss lim for my intro first draft

instead she don’t even want to see it

"that’s worst than blasting" a friend said

wth right? LMAO

 

then had a little adventure taking the INTI bus that goes to Subang Avenue

need to go Subang Parade for work but had no transport

so i try lor taking the INTI bus, first time after 3 years here

first i waited at the wrong place for it

then when i went to the right place there’s 2 buses there

board one of it and was so freaking scared that one will go to INTI Nilai

every turn it made makes my heart beats faster lol

but thank god it is the right bus to take me where i wanted it to

 

it might have been showed in the tv news or newspaper

it’s an accident that has happened in front of subang parade that involved deaths

the place was flooded with policemen, even at uncle lim kopitiam

they even interviewed my manager at sakae sushi

i was so curious to see all the commotion

did some ‘investigation’ aka ‘bat gua’

 

the true story

sakae sushi restaurant drainage system got stuck

the dishwasher and a few other cleaners went to check it out

i have no idea they were instructed to or they did it themselves

they climbed into the subang parade main industrial drainage system

which is really really REALLY very DEEP

somehow they were lack of oxygen plus breath in too much toxic gas

in the end some fainted some died in this event

 

yeah it happens that the people involved in this tragedy works in the same shop as me

i don’t know these people personally, i don’t even know their name

but still, the thought of me having some sort of contact or connection to them

does make me feel a little sad and scared at the same time

 

death is a funny thing

it takes people’s live without a warming

even those we think that don’t suppose to leave us yet

 

my condolences to the victims family members

may their soul rest in peace

things are getting back on track for the past few days

which is a pretty good feeling

all thanks to the to-do-list

=)

 

listing down things that need to be done actually does help ease the situation and tension

rather than just keeping them in my mind and going crazy over them xD

 

breaking down tasks into smaller parts to be completed over the days

yeah it does work by making it seems that it’s not THAT hard after all

the part i love most ?

the satisfaction gained when marking that ‘tick’ sign on the completed task

 

am beginning to love this method

even downloaded an app for my bb

talking about bb, i got mine fix yesterday

and i did it all on my own *proud of myself*

yay!! i am connected again to my dear at all times

 

on a side note, started working at sakae sushi again

tuesdays and thursday from evening to night

it’s not that tiring or a hard job

mainly because the ppl there are nice and friendly

and i got new uniforms for the chinese new year

thank you to manager mr.cloud

 

okay back to working down the to-do-list again

=)

I’m going through those days again, the days that i feel so fucked up with life. I have been like this for almost a week, being grumpy and easily annoyed by almost everything that happens around me.I am angry with everyone,including myself because of the things i wish i never said.I am angry at everything, including a stupid kid that can’t stop making annoying sound at mcd, because he has a good life and don’t know how hard life can be.basically i am angry with life.i hate my life.everything doesn’t seem right.

 

took 5 hours to travel back to hometown last monday with switching 3 times using public transport while carrying a huge luggage bag.then my blackberry spoiled out of no reason and i still haven got it fixed.went to ampang on thursday and went through hell in the car when dad is driving and scolding other drivers.then work on the weekends, which is still during chinese new year and sales were god damn bad.

 

i wish i don’t need to work like other young adults/teenagers.all they need to do is enjoy college life.wanna get something take money from parents.not that i am blaming my parents, which i don’t cause i love them and understands the situation.just that sometime 2 jobs plus college plus assignments plus house chores seems a little bit too much for me to handle.at times i wish i could wake up in the morning without feeling extremely tired with body aches and just enjoy a cup of hot tea, just enjoying the moment.well all of those are just thought, beautiful thoughts that is so hard to come true.

 

i work for the things i want, that’s why i appreciate them more.

i know money is hard to earn, that’s why i hesitate so much when spending.

 

life goes on no matter what