Ai's Diary

at times i noticed that the people that care really cared and i know how i much i love them because they were always there when i need them and we do the things that are crazy so that our hearts can be mend so that we can get through it together so that we can try to get on with life and that's why there are some friends i love them more than i can say and i want to say thank you for always telling me things and doing things with me that makes me happy and reminding me of what are the little things that can make me happy even when you're far away and i can't really hug you and cry my hearts out.and that's is so important than i wake up in tears i still have that little will to make myself a little better.

i'm breaking at the cracks
and everything goes black
it's another heart attack
and i can't handle that

女生当爱了终会放下然后退让给男生。放下尊严。认输。
但是当男生知道自己有那样的权利就会开始路出真面目
男生嘴角总是会挂着他介意的是很多却不说出口只为不让女生伤心
可是只有男生这样吗？女生也马不是一样。而我们不会挂在嘴角一直说。
我们用沉默来代替争吵。可是男生说有什么事就直说。然而直说了只会有争论。
我们解释了我们的原理，你们用你们的原理来反驳我们。而最糟糕的是男女的原理是永远不会相同的。
当我们需要你时你在哪里呢？很好笑吧。我觉得真可笑。一句“我忙先了”就不见人了。
公平。什么才算是公平。对你们公平的对我们不公平。对我们公平的却对你们不公平。
女生生气你说我们太敏感介意太多。一起那样说不如说是你们对女子的需求不敏感吧。
我们细心发现的事多。介意的事也多。反而这变成了我们的弱点。
你们要我们接受你们就是那样。那我们就是这样敏感爱哭你们能接受吗？
不哭了可是要委屈。两个都不是办法。一句话就打发人走了。
过一个星期先吧。说得有多容易呢。
我好想去旅行。那样一个星期会过得快一些。有能舒适心情。
想看海。真的很想在海边住几天。可是要去哪里呢？
活了将近二十一年。经历了很多事。累了可是还是必须走。想放弃可是自己却还呼吸着。
二十一岁的蛋糕。我要许自己能在当年安详去世。累了。真的累了。活累了爱累了哭累了。

眼泪不断地流
血也不断的流
就算再痛也不如心里的痛
爱情算得了什么？
说再爱最后也是忍心看着他人痛
这算得了爱情吗？

it hurts the most when i put my whole heart for it
so pain that the only thing i wish for is death
why does this have to happen?
i've cried and scream but yet it still so pain
even when i took her up to say good bye
she bit me.even she is angry at me
love is something that i should not have touch
i think it would be different each time but in the end it hurts me back
i took a chance and it puts a knife right through my heart again and again and again
i wonder why we didn't met in an accident when she was driving 140km/hr on the highway
i really do wish that should have happen.then i would not have to feel this pain
i really wish all the pain can go away because i don't have the strength to make it through again
i need to go away but when i stand my legs can't even walk
i want to go away.i need to go away.but where.standing there wanting to go but have no place to go

please pain please go away
please go away please go away
i do not want to do it again i can't go through this again
please don't put me through this again

waking up feeling something is missing
had a terrible nightmare for 2 days in a row
but keep telling myself what's the point

vodka, muffins and gilmore girls
maybe one day i'll end up like lorelai
"i'm not happy and feeling crappy all the time"

lazy to answer
what's the point?
i opt out

my blog seems to be filled with emo posts

to what's important to me
i make everything meaningless nowadays
even the last thing that i love to do and make me happy is slipping away from me slowly-baking

it's so much easier when all i need to do is care less
just care less
that'll do

am on a silence vow starting this moment on
i just have the feeling to do so don't ask me why

just tired.of talking to people that don't understands
just tired of listening to crap people saying everyday
tired of telling people useful stuff that they just ignore
tired of listening to hippocratic people saying thing they don't mean

i have a test tomorrow.
thank you so much.

stupid butter