Ai's Diary

November 3,2009, Tuesday…

my second day back in my hometown,Tampin

feeling a little down today…

feeling a little tired today…

the only thing that is stopping me from going totally down is listening to AAR’s “Move Along” in full blast

keep repeating it over and over again…

 

when all you got to keep is strong

move along, move along like i know you do

and even when your hope is gone

move alone,move along just to make it through

move along

when everything is wrong, we move along…

 

thinking just now of going to see his mom to ask for my things

then i stop myself, i stop myself

there’s no use keeping all those things

just keep the ones you have is enough

people are cruel you should know that ai

if they choose to throw it away it is their choice

just keep what you have and you’ll laugh at your foolishness in the future

plus if you go see her,she might hurt you again…you should know what type of person she is by now ai…

but i want to keep all those things…it’s important memories…my first love…

plus maybe he will come back someday…

stop this ai,you know the truth…

but there is always a maybe and the future is uncertain,he might come back…

it’s maybe only ai…you’ll find a better person that will love you even more and you will be happy

but i don’t want other people…

you are stupid ai…really stupid…why are you this stupid…

 

i’m thorn into 2 parts…

i feel like i have an angel ai at my left shoulder

and an devil ai at my right shoulder…haha…

let it go, ai…

let it go…

if only it is that easy…

tears gonna fall again…need to control…need to control…

i really miss you…i really love you…if only you feel the same way for me…

 

sometimes i feel like i don’t exist at all

sometimes i feel like i’m gonna die tomorrow

sometimes i just wanna close my eyes and feel nothing

i’m so tired but i’ll always will have someone that i can rest on

i’m grateful for that but this can’t go on forever

i’m sorry for hurting others…i really am…

feel like i’m gonna disappear…

sometimes i feel that it is best for me to just vanish

 

1.17pm…nitez…