Ai's Diary

i choose to be happy

=)

*there’s gonna be some ups and down, but with you to wrap my arms around…i’m fine*

-when you got a good thing,lady antebellum

dun mess with ai or she will kick your ass

muahaha

my ice cream dear.he is always full of surprises

he surprised me with a pair of shoes today

the one i loved so much but the ribbon fell off

although it’s a taboo for chinese to present shoes

but i’ll pay him something just as symbolic purposes

do remind me please dear.my STM is getting serious

now i have 2 pairs of the same shoes

hmm…i can get creative with the defect one

hehe…exited but need to find time to do it tho

oh and dear wrote a letter too

so sweet and funny

and he made me close my eyes and put on the shoes for me

my silly ice cream

thank you so much

*hugs*

 

1.52am

nite nite

 

was in a dilemma whether to share this or not cause it’s kinda disturbing.

but decided to share it in the end.

hey,how often do you get to see a cake this disgusting right?!

a customer custom order this cake last week for his lady boss birthday

and Andy (our cake decorator) actually managed to do it

i must admit that Andy is very VERY talented

he can come out with new cakes in an instance

and they all look so pretty that you can’t help but want to try them

well the best part of working at the bakery is that i get to eat good stuff for free

oh when i meant pretty cakes i don’t mean cakes like the one above.xD

and Andy has an LV bag!!!!!!!

he is a bit towards the soft type of guy la

but he is very nice person

and he said that my peanut butter brownie was not bad.

was exited for that for some time

cause he used to be working in a hotel but quit due to high pressure

so if if anyone wants a cake like the one above go to Brumby’s at USJ 3

lol i giving free advertising for Brumby’s

oh oh…was thinking of big boobs cake for ice cream dear birthday.XD

good or bad idea? hmm…

today is the day i'm knocked out

struggled to stay awake in psychology class

and slept right through the 2 hours of sales management

then had another 2 hours nap in the evening till 7pm waking up just in time for dinner

but still feeling tired,mentally and physically.

why? i don't like the feeling of not being at my optimum level.=(

 

keep using the "mind over matter" thing on myself

i'm not tired...i'm not tired...i'm not tired...

i can do it...i can do it...i can do it...

but it didn't worked today

i just feel so tired

does that mean it's time for me to take a break?

 

ice cream dear surprised me again today in college

he showed up at the door while i was going to the lockers at the library

well i actually spoiled his plan cause my class ended early

when i saw him i was like "that person look so familiar,maybe i'm dreaming still"

cause i just woke up and still feeling very very dizzy and blur ma

and i gave the "oo..." reaction then continue walking to the lockers

poor ice cream but thank you so much dear

 

ice cream dear accompany me for lunch and till my exams starts

and we did the silliest thing ever.

i was at old block and he was at new block library level

he wave at me i wave at him and we sms

it was kinda fun.glad that something in my life is still fun

 

tomorrow is another day.must gambateh.

and my prince of persia movie screening is tomorrow night

am looking forward with it cause it has been a while since ice cream dear and i have a nice date

but ice cream dear is having exam the next day

hope he’ll manage well.

 

photos of day

 

10.02pm

Finished watching all the episodes of Glee that i downloaded at 3.50am, switch off my lappie and was ready for bed.But i just couldn’t fall asleep,there’s so much things going through my head. So now here i am at 4.12am switching on my lappie again to pour out whatever it is so i can sleep in peace.

 

Slept very late the night before and woke up very early for work, stayed up till now and i’m not sure how much sleep i will get.Tomorrow will be another long day with college starting at 10am finishing at 2pm and work starting at 3pm ending at 9pm.Can i make through the day? well, i do not have a choice but to survive it. It’s like in the movies, where a lips keep moving saying all the things that i need to do, go to college go to work remember to study psychology remember to read the research papers must find time to write blog must spare sometime to write the memory book it’s time to fold the clothes remember to do sales management assignment etc etc and as the voice speaks it goes faster and faster till at one point the i would just faint or scream “STOP!!!”. I do wonder when is the day that my body will not be able to take anymore of this and just shuts down. Sometimes i do look forward to that day cause i am really so tired.But that’ll will not happen,it’s impossible, right?

 

There was this episodes of Glee that was about DREAMS, dreams that everyone secretly has and should not be afraid of dreaming about it. Well i gave up a big part of dreaming since my first relationship just crashed and burnt without a notice. He built this big dream about the future of us being together having a family and everything else that matters and that dream grew so build that the day the builder set the dynamite to bring it down, i crashed along with it, buried in the remains, like a captain that went down with his ship. I’m afraid to dream since then, and even if i do, i do not dream big. I learn to break my dreams into smaller parts because i learn that the bigger the dream the more it will hurt when it don’t work out. That’s my i play on the safe side. Never say "never" and never say "forever". Nothing is impossible even the sweetest promises that might seem so convincing at the beginning, that’s my rule. But being in a new relationship with ice cream dear that is going so well, healthy and stable makes me have the courage to start loosen up a little and start dreaming again, bit by bit.There are things that i want but i just do not dare to hope and talk about too much. I’m controlling myself and i hope i can stay in control so that i won’t stray to far from course. Dream only dreams that i can control to make it come true. The rest of it? Just do the best i can and hope for the best. I do believe that people can change other people lives like how ice cream dear makes me happy and makes it not stupid to dream of having my own small bakery one day. I have simple dreams now.Simple but enough for me.=)

 

Another thing about Glee is finding, being and expressing the person we are not who we want to be. Will put a note on that. Seriously need to get some sleep.Just hope that i can sleep. I really do need my rest. good night ice cream dear tho you are already sleeping like a pig now.*hugs*

 

4.47am

wearing your jacket is like having your arms wrapping around me

so warm so nice so sweet so comfy

i miss my ice cream dear…

have you ever notice that when something happens it will always happen in one go?

for example if something good happens, so many good of it will happen and vice versa.

well that’s what happened to me yesterday.sort of la in a way.

 

collage was as usual, nothing special anymore these days

psychology class was very interesting that i think i’m falling in love with this subject

just hope that the love for it will continue to bloom till the end of the semester

sales management was normal nothing much to talk about

 

after class went to intima week at concourse with ice cream dear

decided to join the “dead” photography club again in support for yee yang

haha fine…it was more like "i didn’t know what club to join.hmm…ok la,photography set!"

the exiting part jumps in after that as i went "shopping" at some of the booth

got a very good deal from kingmax for a 500gb external hard drive

rm280 plus a free leather casing and 3 year warranty

bought a jelly lens too for rm5

there goes my rm285 flying away

but on the bright side, i am needing and looking for a external hard drive

since it’s a good deal i don’t mind grabbing it

 

lunch with ice cream dear at citrus plus was usual

we talk we laugh we eat we tease each other

and most importantly we played with the camera.xD

 

decided not to go back to have my usual afternoon nap before my work

instead went to library with ice cream dear to study

i did studied, i studied psychology, a whole 10 pages

just hope that i can catch up with miss khor speed as she is teaching super fast

 

it rained heavily when we were almost to leave

with no umbrella ice cream dear decided to do "the romantic walk in the rain" thingy

we did la a bit but then i didn’t want to get wet to much cause i scare that i’ll fall sick

at the rate at which i need to do all the things i’m doing,falling sick is definitely will be hell for me

i’m sorry for that dear but thank you for always making the littlest thing special

 

we spend some time in the car talking before i went to work

my center of gravity is kinda shifting more and more towards ice cream dear

that’s good and bad in was.it’s risky if anything goes wrong but at the same time proves something

will just let things goes as it is.if it crashed then i have no choice but to survive heartache again

 

partly watch "the backup plan" and partly work yesterday

but i studied psychology too.managed to finish chapter 1

phew! after so many days of reading only finish one chapter

it definitely gonna take much more effort if i want to continue at this pace

 

at night had discussion for sales management with the girls

i’m the same group of people semester after semester

good or bad?both maybe?

just thought of the time i took malaysian studies alone

doing a project with a complete stranger can sometimes be fun and rewarding

unfortunately can’t really do that anymore

have to learn to adapt,miss khor said that human can adapt very well

is that true?or maybe my adaptation is not good.does that mean i’m not human?

i wish i’m not human.then i can be a ghost or maybe a guardian angel

so i can look after and protect people that are important to me

 

so yeah i was dead dead dead tired and had to stay in the msn window till 1am with internet connection that is freaking bad that make me feel even worse and ignorance and other factors combined that i stop trying at one point and just decided to keep silent and go to sleep.

 

oh one more thing.check my mail and found out that i was selected by inti to sit for Cambridge ESOL exam.

what the hell is that?and the exam is next week?and there’s a briefing the next day?

that means i have to go college on friday

oh crap just so crap.i am just so “lucky” ain’t i?

such short notice and luckily i check my mail

no choice but to check it out what’s it about

 

last night i went to sleep with a bad mood.

i wonder if that’s the reason i feel not well today

don’t like feeling chest pain and hard to breath and sleepy and tired

 

been writing a lot today.haha…

well ice cream dear is sitting opposite me studying his physics for his A2 exam

friday is my rest day so no studying for me so i blog lor

i have a long list of things to blog about but time constrain.i have time constrain.=(

i just love crapping.in a nice term its called pouring out what i feel into my dear blog.

i love you my dear blog.it would be impossible for me to survive if you do not exist

you are always here for me no matter where and when and for what reasons.

 

i think that’s enough for today although i still have so many things i want to pour out.

but it’s time to leave mcD soon

although i don’t mind spending the night here continue doing what i’m doing now

and with ice cream dear shoulder beside me i can take a rest anytime i want

i love simple times like these.=)

 

good night

 

p/s: i think hsiang is turning gayish, not in the sense of becoming homosexual. just some actions and the way he talk.maybe it’s because i tease him too much about being gay.LOL.but still, he is so cute and still makes me laugh.

 

photos of the day

took these picture while was waiting for ice cream dear in the morning

love the sky love the flower

=)

lunch at citrus+

tasteless food but good company compensate that

 

testing out my jelly lens

not bad right the effect?

lucky i buy.saw it on sale on the internet 4 for rm50

this one only rm5

woke up at 11.30am
how nice is that?

no matter what happens
i'm gonna make today a happy day

tata to everyone and everything
well, at least almost la

can't find me?
you'll know why

ai is going out today
wohoo!!!

12.04pm
bye people

sick and tired of giving my best and not being able to enjoy
i lack entertainment in my life right now with college and work taking most of my time
i am god damn tired now and that feeling doubled,tripled or even quadrupled at times
sorry but i just can't take it
silence is gold
shh....

1.00am
nitz

today was grocery shopping day

after class i went to guardian and 99 speedmart

bought 2 big bags of daily needs and some baking ingredients

i think i spent around 50 bucks on all those stuff

money easy to spend very hard to earn…haiz…

 

did my laundry after that

wash the bathroom

cleaned and mopped my room

and BAKED PEANUT BUTTER BROWNIES

just wanted to reward myself after so much hard work

after all baking is the one of the many things that i love to do

 

did a "books for sale" thingy to be paste at the notice board at college

though i still need to find who do i need to get the permission from

the pile of books in my cupboard and around my room is getting on my nerves

so why not sell them and make some $$$

 

the best part of today?

opened my gmail

mail from Nuffnang

"Dear Nuffnanger,
You're cordially invited to the Snack & Screen Session with Rice Crisps by Mister Potato happening on 27th May 2010 at the curve for the special screening for PRINCE OF PERSIA:THE SANDS OF TIME"

the first ever contest i joined and i got selected

my first reaction was "OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG"

haha…but WOHOO!!!i’m so happy.thank you so much naffnang!!!

will be going with no other than my ice cream dear

but ice cream dear is having his exam the next day

just hope that he’ll know to divide his time properly

 

photos of the day

 

 

 

 

 

yesterday before i went to work

i notice one ribbon from my favorite was missing

went college early today and walk the path i took yesterday

but i just couldn't find it.i’m really sad that the ribbon fell off

how can i be so blur to notice it after so long?

can’t do anything now.will go to the DIY shop one of these day to find something to stick on it.

hope it’ll still look nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

my peanut butter chocolate brownie

used one whole bar of 200g chocolate bar

to me it taste okay but to other i don’t know

will let ice cream try it tomorrow as breakfast

hehe…hope that he’ll like it

baking just let me feel so happy and relax

=) =) =) =) =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hehe…can’t wait to go watch the movie.i like the heroin very much.she is so pretty.

 

9.55pm

time to study

gambateh!!

it’s ice cream and cupcake anniversary!!!

3 months only? feel like very long edi leh

 

ice cream dear gave me a surprise today

yup.he did it AGAIN.

he always gives me surprises

small ones and big ones

i think the surprises he gives me during this 3 months exceeds the surprises i received for my WHOLE life

and ice cream dear treats me very well too

i’m glad and lucky for that

will appreciate and maintain this relationship the best i can

 

after work ice cream dear brought me to the park

so dark at 9pm plus and i was super hungry

but it was definitely worth it

he ask me to walk in front and i’m not allowed to turn around

i could hear some sound but just couldn’t guess what he was taking

then we stop,he did something and ask me to turn around

WALAH!!it was lighted candle in a i don’t know what that thing called

it’s the thing we saw in ikea the other day that i like so much

he secretly went there i was in singapore

ahh…my silly ice cream.thank you so much dear.

shall use it one day with you k?=)

*hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs*

 

work today was okay i think

manage to study a little of psychology

but till page 19 only.some progress at least

 

tomorrow no working but will still be busy

time to clean my untidy room

wash my mountain high clothes

and maybe do a little baking

hope all will be just fine

 

gambateh ai ai!!

 

photos of the day

view from level 5 of inti

there’s our old building and an apartment in construction

the part i love most of the whole picture is the sky

clouds…grey clouds…

our basketball court turned car park for lecturers

it reminds me of how nice ngee an polytechnic was

inti is like so so so…*no words to describe*

the thing ice cream got me for our anniversary =)

ice cream dear hand crafted the candle using butterfly knife.

not a professional job but it’s the thought that counts

isn’t it so sweet?thank you dear.*hugs*

 

will try my best to keep our candle burning and the lights on =)

 

11.56pm

time to sleep

tomorrow is another day

first day of classes for new semester

everything is moving at a face pace

i miss the good old days

having all the time in the world

 

classes was fine

see some people i like

and some that i don’t

that’s the way life is,right?

 

made a bet with ck

to make him study

if he get 3.5gpa

i’ll treat him:

1)2 dozen of arrows

2)a giodarno shirt

 

started work at bakery at 5pm

was okay.met emily a bubbly out going girl

and kak yees.known her since a few years back

working there makes me feel like i’m back home

it gives me this happy family feeling that i don’t get in college

it makes me feel like i’m a part of something or a group of people

 

anyways.today turn out well as i expected.

gonna study psychology for a while then zzz…

need my sleep to continue my day tomorrow

 

photos of the day

my not so attractive dinner at 9.30pm.

stuff that i can do with my old college books.

well my legs are so tired that i feel like doing nothing

but just sitting down on my comfy bed to eat and play pc

it feels like heaven to rest on the bed

didn’t finish the greens again =(

 

11.10pm

survived today

woke up extremely tired with pain in legs

but gotta go to work no matter what

 

today the guard asked me to cut my nails

decided not to let that ruin my day =)

 

the friendly lady was not here today

lack of friendliness and laughter

 

sales was not as good as yesterday too

but still not that bad i think and hope

 

skipped my break so i can leave early

to join hsiang,jien,wei wei,vignus,hunny,thean and hsiang’s mom for dinner

we ate satay at petaling jaya

not bad but the important thing is i get to spend some time with ice cream dear

 

2 more days will be a special day

but i’m working =(

hope that things will work out well

 

photos of the day

went for lunch at little taiwan

the chair in front of me was empty

someone is missing or i’m missing someone

saw this cute couple during my break sitting near the fish tank.

saw a rainbow and i knew today will turn out just fine.tomorrow as well.=)

penguin trying to hijack the perodua kembara for me.

awhhh…thx penguin but i’ll buy my own car one day k?

 

11.35pm

gotta finish my dinner and sleep

tomorrow is college day and first day working at the bakery

today started off like shit

went to ioi mall extra early to find staff entrance

found it but they don’t let me in the reason is i have to use hair netting

so i asked where can i get one or borrow one

that stupid guard said now all the shops close you wait till 10am la

go find it yourself outside…damn not helpful at all

walk round and round ioi mall with all the shops closed hoping to find one that is open

watson say dun have, sinma say dun have, in the end end up at jusco, that also almost 10.30am already

but at least that lady was friendly and kind that she helped me put that stupid thing on

but then she is not jusco staff.no wonder…since jusco was taken over by malay everything also money and XXX

was so angry that i ate breakfast and took my time doing all the things that i went in at almost 11am

an hour late but i don’t care.i hate jusco.stupid jusco.

but at least the cashier was a friendly lady…or maybe i should say playful

she calls me “leng lui” all the time and even help me sell some stuff

and we watch tv together.lol.

 

oh and padini is having a sale at ioi mall

the bad thing about being a promoter is that you’ll find out about promotions very fast

and sometimes can’t resist from buying

but seriously the place is damn crowed

and the things are worth buying

minimum 50% off,maximum 70% off

must go must go.padini leh!!!

rm19 can get a good pants edi

 

inform hsiang and he ended up bringing his mom and brother along

and he bought a number of stuff.hahaha!!!

and hsiang mom bought this scarf for me

thank you thank you so much

 

through my eye

the children are not for sale xD

Day 2

my randomness struck again.

i wanted to try the mamak in Singapore,

so randy brought me to eat roti canai.

 

 

after breakfast went to Orchard for SHOPPING TIME!!!

 

didn’t took many pictures cause was busy shopping.

 

after for like don’t know how many hours of shopping, i already spent more than half of my singapore dollar and bought so many stuff!!!

 

then it’s time for lunch of course.after exercise need food for energy ma.

 

 

we had JAPANESE CURRY at a place called go go curry i think. Damn freaking big serving. I was god damn full. But i was mmm…mmm…delicious!!!

 

 

after lunch we walk walk again around Orchard but didn’t buy anything anymore cause i was broke. But i did have this roti ice cream that i love so much tho. MUST i say MUST  be KING’S brand and flavor RASPBERRIES.

 this ice cream can be bought along Orchard Road.

so many uncle selling them.

first tried them the last time i went Singapore and fell in love with them right away.

after that contacted chieh chieh molly. but we have to wait for her to finish her facial. so we waited opposite of The Centre Point. cause i was too tired to continue walking.

 

 

 so

nothing to do.so…

i took pictures of my shoes. oh my shoes. forgot to talk about them.

bought them for RM15 only at mydin when i was working there.

and surprisingly they are very comfortable.

i love them so much.hope they will last.

 

Chieh Molly my cousin from my mom side brought us to a seafood buffet at some hotel. Cost S$60 a person.so damn expensive, i feel so bad. but the food was great.

We ate lobster, sushi, chocolate fondue, drunken prawns, soft shell crab etc etc. Didn’t took pictures cause i was too busy eating.LOL

 

 

I go Singapore keep eating good food only. So HAPPY. hahaha….